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Forgiveness, like Love, is a muscle that if we neglect to engage it, it will shrivel up until rendered useless. We are born with an innate ability to love and forgive because we were created in the image and likeness of God. Children are notorious forgivers. Even as they are being abused, they will just as quickly forgive given a word of kindness or loving gesture. Then eventually as children grow older, painful episodes will cause them to yield to instinctual self-preservation - sometimes choosing not only to defend themselves, but to hit back. Many of us are taught to “hit back” and in our culture, we’re considered spineless for not making someone pay for what they’ve done to us. But Jesus teaches us to release debts. What does it mean to release debt?

Firstly, let’s define debt. Debt is what we perceive an offender has taken from us.

An abused husband or wife may perceive their spouse has taken the “best years of their life,” their dignity, respect, and abused of their love.

An abused child, once in their adulthood, may feel an adult offender stole their innocence and childhood.

A parent offended by their child may feel the child has thrown away their love and wasted their time after everything they’ve done for them.

Releasing debt means…

-not holding the person by the throat per se to make them give us back what they have taken from us,

-not wishing for them to face the same evil as a punishment, and

-not interfering with natural consequences by enforcing our own vengeance.

Forgiveness is not allowing yourself or others to continue to be abused.

Forgiveness does not mean to forget about the incident as if it never happened.

Forgiveness does not mean you will no longer feel the pain of the harm done to you.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to keep an unrepentant abuser in your life and trust them again.

Forgiveness is not something to be withheld until the offender says “I’m sorry” or demonstrates regret.

Forgiveness should be dispensed even to the unrepentant offender.

Let us ask ourselves…

Do we obsess over the wrong done to us? How often do we pray for the healing of those who have caused us the most pain? How often do we refuse to pray for our debtors?

I’d like to challenge you to do 3 things:

♥ Pray for Mary’s intercession when you are confronted with past, present, or future offenses.
♥ Remember that forgiveness is not a feeling but releasing the debt of the other.
♥ And ask for the grace to stop recalling the wound and focus on Jesus.

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